Dear Diary

Miss America had a meltdown today. Usually she is sweet as pie, but every once in a while she cops an attitude that rivals any Bridezilla. It started after lunch when I told her not to talk back to the 5th grade Aide, and later she didn’t like it when I corrected her for correcting me. (At the beginning of the year she had a HUGE problem calling out whenever she felt like it. I had to move her seat to the back half since she felt like having a conversation with me in the middle of every class every day.) As she was seething, she asked (through clenched teeth) if she could go into the hallway to write in her journal before she “really lost it”. I was tempted to say no, but figured what the heck, get her out of the room before she mouthed off any more.

Her journal is from Principal Pretty. She gave it to Miss America in the fall when she was having the same sorts of attitude problems, mostly stemming from problems at home. (Mom is divorcing her third husband in twelve years, and supposedly this step-dad is the only one who can control the older girls. What a shame.) She left her journal in her desk, and since the desk is school property, I read it. And boy, was I pissed.

I’m interpreting “like” as “said”. That’s how she talks, but the problem is some things are accurate that I did really say, but quite a few are not – like when she says I called her stupid. She is one of the smartest kids in the class, but she has zero self-esteem and is always putting herself down. Guess who is always trying to build her up? ME. Here’s what my efforts got me – my comments are in [brackets]:

Today was the worst day ever I hate my teacher so much I HATE how she treats people. I wish she got fired because shouldn’t be coursing [cursing? What did I say?] at anybody Mrs. Aide said every body wait in the wall till your teacher comes and I said she doesn’t let us wait on the wall and Ms. Institutrice was like don’t talk back to her like that. [They wait on the wall every morning and every day after lunch. And when Mrs. Aide told her not to talk to her like that, guess what? She stopped, without any lip like I got.] And we had a test today and The whole class did really bad And she started screaming at us! [After you all screamed at me, I raised my voice to be heard. Try taking some responsibility for your education.] I said sorry we don’t get it!!! and then she was like WE DID IT FOR 20 DAYS? [This is true.] And then she was like it is not like second [grade] where you add 3+2. I was like that is Kindergarten [wow she spelled it right] I was like my sis is in second and she doesnt do work like that? [Actually, you said your sister is in kindergarten and she IS doing work like that.] She was like I am sorry who got there teaching degree not you me. [Actually, I said, "I'm sorry, when did you get your teaching degree? That’s right, I am the one who went to college and has TWO degrees, and has been teaching for ten years, and is a math specialist. I know what they teach when. Thank you."] then I didn’t talk then she said something else about the test I was like I am sorry we are not smart like you remember who got there teaching degree you did. I said I am sorry I don’t get this. And then she was all like you do know it, we did it so many times! [As in, if you got it right in class on your white board, on paper, and on your homework, YOU KNOW HOW TO DO IT.] I said that doesn’t mean I Get it. I said I am stupid. (scribbled out, looks like, “she said if you were so”) She said you are stupid so I will put you with Ms. Glinda were the mental kids are. [WHAT!!!! This is where I lost it and took the journal to Principal Pretty. What a fucking baldfaced lie! Miss America said she was stupid, and I said, "No you are not stupid. You are one of the smartest kids in this class." She insisted she is stupid, and that she can't learn, and then I said, "Well, then Maybe we need to have you work with Dr. Glinda to see how we can help you better." Maybe not appropriate, but I did NOT call her stupid, and I did NOT say anything about mental kids! Interesting how they think special ed kids are "mental". Doesn't 'mental' mean crazy, like psychotic?] I said wow are u seriouse [no you didn't] I Got really mad and was about to flip out so I want [went] to her and said Ms. Institutrice then she said go sit down and raise your hand [because how many more times can I say it??? And I said PLEASE sit down and raise your hand.] So I raised my hand for 10 minutes [90 seconds] then she said what do u want ["What do you need?"] I said can I go out there and write in the Journal before I flip out she was like yeah go write in your journal and she was like write in a Journal wow. [Actually, I said, "I wish I could go write in my journal every time I get upset."] So now I Have been in the Hall way writing in this journal about!!!………

I do not like Ms. Institutrice she is so mean! Try to be in my footsteps for a week [try mine, bitch] you will hate her or dislike her! All she does is scream [Not.] she screams at everyone in the morning she told us that she can’t stand us. [No, Fashionista comes over and says that about her class, and they go home and say I said it about mine!] I think that was a comment she needed to keep to herself. [If you could really hear what I mutter under my breath, it's a LOT worse than that, little girl.] Just like how we say Oh my God she yells at us when we say something like that and she says Jesus Christ. [Finally, something accurate. And I've been waiting for someone to catch me on that. See? She is smart.] And I can’t stand these kids. [Back to the lies.] And alot of course [curse] words [like what?] I started likeing her and thinking she was kool but no not no more. [Thanks for paying attention to our lesson on double negatives.] I can’t wait till school is OVER. School is over June 16 in 2 more weeks. Yes can’t wait [You and me both, dear.]

But I think I can deal with her for 2 more weeks the last day is a half a day!! Sometimes she can be nice like how she gave me and Teacher’s Pet and Denzel a cookie and A Milk shake because we had to write for the port folios cuz you have to pick 3 kids that are good writers and I was one off [of] them. [And that was a mistake - you got a 50 on the essay I asked you to write. Thanks for even trying.] So I am happy about that because my mom is a writer and she writes poems and they got poblished in books [that's news to me] and i love writing but I am being sloppy right now [ya think?] but i am a really good writer but at the same time when I get older I want to be a veternarian. [Close!] but I think I can Do both at the same time I feel way better since I let everything out.

Well, I’m glad you feel better (sitting in the hall for an hour would make anybody feel better – her sixth grade friends were probably wandering around out there, too), but you’re a freaking liar. I said to Principal Pretty, What happens when she takes this home and her mother or sister finds it? It says that I called her stupid. I have 23 witnesses to prove I didn’t, but it’s a conversation I would rather just avoid altogether. Pretty said her mom is too involved in her own problems and is not paying attention to the girls (which is true), but I said I can’t take that chance. She is one of the moms who freaked out when AP made the kids who wouldn’t behave at his recess detention write the 1-12 times tables three times; she brought her husband, Miss America’s father and stepmother to the office that day before school was over to scream at Principal Pretty and AP. They thought the punishment was ridiculous. (How about your kid’s disrespect for authority is ridiculous? But, oh wait, I see where she gets it from.) Pretty said she’ll tell Miss America the journal is just for school, and that she needs to let Pretty keep it over the summer, and then Pretty will tear out the pages. Thank you, thank you, thank you! (For once.)

My teacher reaction to her journal? When I read stuff like this, I want to change their grammar grades on their report cards. Ever heard of a period?